× • = bj0rN = • ×

Just another random ranting post by me so you can choose not to read it. Feel free to grab the wallpaper that I fixed with the CLANNAD 1 DVD cover (removed the 1 to make it look nice though).

So… It seems like 2007 is over and 2008 kicks in. Hopefully things will turn out for the better and that I’ll change for the better too. Looking back, I can see that I’ve changed a lot. Especially for past few weeks since I found myself confused and lost over some issues. Stepping back and taking a clearer look now, I realised that I was just foolish and overreacting in some ways or another. And so I would want to apologise to all the people that I’ve let down, bothered and irritated with the stupid actions that I’ve took. There’s a long way for me to go it seems and I’ve learnt a lot more about the game of life.

I used to think that I’m always ill-fated and that things never went well for me. Of course some parts of me tells me to look ahead and move on while another says that maybe its something that I need to keep note and be wary of. Like what most of my friends tell me, I do have the capability to do things and achieve but I guess at the end of the day, I was actually letting myself down and putting myself down with my terrible past experiences. Its’s time to throw them aside and start afresh for me although I hope that it isn’t too late (sounds pessimistic I guess but there’s always a possibility) and to be able to change things for the better.

My late realisation for certain issues made me went paranoid for a period of time. I went into a state of paranoia, deluding and having person conflicts with myself. I felt terrible at a period of time when I lost trust in everyone. I also shunned everyone during that period of time to people who really wanted to help me. At the bottom of my heart, I apologise and thanks for putting up with me. And yes, to this important person, I’m also sorry if I’ve caused you to worry or made you felt bothered and irritated with me.

That aside, being a leader is something that’s been with me even though I don’t really want to. I guess that’s what they call a born leader? And actually I got to agree that I’ve not been a great leader even though everyone looked up to me. Rest assure I’ll do my best from now though I admit I’ll need support and probably some pushing.

And so a year has passed. Many things have changed and its time for me to get out of my timeless boundary too.

Of course with the New Year, it’s time to start afresh and I guess it’s a good time to start things from scratch and work on it. All is not lost and so maybe it’s time for me to take it slow and easy and not rush things. I guess external factors did play a part but well, at the end of the day, it all comes down to me, myself and I.